So...Just Who Is This Wretch?

Well, I think it is time for me to tell you who the Wretch was, is now, and is striving to be like.

I thought I was a Christian for twenty-one years. When I was four years old, my mother tells me she prayed a prayer with me, and that was when I "accepted" Jesus. I know now that I was a false convert. I had no idea what I was doing, I don't even remember it. It was pretty easy to live thinking that I was a Christian, I grew up in a Christian home and went to church every weekend. When I was eight years old, my mom married a wonderful man who adopted me. His ambition was to be a pastor, and he eventually became a part-time pastor at our church. I was now a PK (preacher's kid). No pressure! I was inoculated to the Gospel, I never once doubted my salvation. I knew I had to act a certain way, not out of compulsion, but because I knew how a Christian was supposed to act. I was part of all the youth group functions and I went to every teen conference. I got fired up and loved being with the other youth group members from all over the denomination's northwest region. But the "high" would last only so long. I longed be with the people and the excitement. Still, I never questioned my salvation. Then came high school and the more "exclusive" high school summer Leadership Training camps. I definitely knew I was a Christian. Would a non-Christian go to lean how to share their faith or be so moved to the point of tears at the emotionally driven worship times? Our youth group went to Downtown Denver multiple times to go witnessing. I was even the "right-hand man" for the youth leader. Only true Christians did these things. This whole time not one person ever questioned my salvation or even suggested that I examine myself "...to see whether you are in the faith." (2 Corinthians 13:5 ESV.) Everyone accepted my story.

In the fall of 2002, I left home for collage after taking a year off to work. This is when my true nature finally broke through. I am not going to go into the gory details. I do not want to boast in my sins. I was still so blind to my condition and I still thought I was a Christian, just backsliding. My dad did start to wonder about my lifestyle and once confronted me about certain things, but I just blew it off. Not long after that, I took off from campus and did not tell anyone. I had run off to Idaho with my then girlfriend (now my wonderful wife), but I did not tell anyone for a week where I was. I got married to my wife and we continued living in sinful and debaucherous ways. My dad was faithful and would still ask about my spiritual life and encourage us to go to church. I still thought of myself as a Christian! Oh, the arrogance and pride!

Things started to change when we started to attend a church in September of 2007. I had not attended a church service in five years. God started to work on me and sometime in October I came to a terrible realization. (To give some background, the church we went to taught that you could leave, not lose, your salvation.) I realized that if I had been a Christian, I was a blasphemer of God's Holy Name. I lived my life claiming to be a Christian, but all I was doing was dragging His name though the mud and the filth and holding it up and proclaiming to the world that this is what the God of the universe is like! I was undone. I was terrified to see how offensive I had been. I cried out to God and repented of my sinful blasphemous life and trusted in our Savior Jesus Christ! I soon learned better theology and understood that I had been a false convert. Since then, my love for the things of God has exploded! I love reading His Word and learning more about him!

How Great Is Our God?! He saved me! He saved a lying, thieving, blasphemous, fornicating, God-hating, idolatrous, covetous, drunken, wretch! I deserve nothing more then what is promised in the Bible for the unrepentant, eternal damnation, but my God not only gave me His amazing Mercy (not giving what is deserved), but also His amazing grace (unwarranted favor) as well and now I can be accepted into His presence for eternity! All the debt that was accrued by my transgression was paid in full by my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ's atoning death on the Cross.

And now I am striving to be more and more like Christ!

To my Lord and my God: Thank you for saving a wretch like me!



-- The Wretch