Humbled Servant

I am a little reluctant to share this for several reasons, mainly because it shows how I allow my sinful flesh to control me. I do not write this to lift myself up at all, I am not patting myself on the back, but rather I want this to give glory to the King.

On Sunday night I was at the laundromat doing...well laundry. For the first 45 min to an hour there was hardly anyone there and was able to read a good portion of God's Word. It started getting busier after I moved the laundry to the dryers. The thought of sharing the Gospel, or at least handing out some Million Dollar Bill tracts, entered my mind, but I allowed pride and shame to pushed the idea out of my mind. I thought that I really needed to read my hermeneutics book instead, after all I have been procrastinating and am behind. So, I started read the book and I kept noticing more people walk in, and the thought of sharing kept popping in my head, but I ignored it. I was having the hardest time concentrating on my book (I still have no idea what I read, I have to reread it) and then I noticed my palms started to feel clammy and my heart was pounding. I knew what I was about to do and it terrified me.

You might wonder why it terrified me, it was because I was about to something that my pride knew was going to make me look foolish and I had never done it to a complete stranger. I stood up, prayed, pulled two tracts from my wallet, and approached two Hispanic guys. Looking back, I now realize that my fear had temporarily dissipated as I walked over and handed the tracts to the guys. I explained what I handed to them was not real money but a Gospel tract and then ask what they thought happened to people when they die. One responded with very broken English about not being sure. This is where I became like Peter when he walked on water. When he was on the water he was fine until he saw the wind and the waves, then he started to sink. Well, when I heard his broken English my heart, unfaithfully, sank. I stumbled through asking him if he thought he was a good person and, of course, he thought he was. I tried asking him if he had ever told a lie and he gave me a shrug and a face that implied that he had NO idea what I was talking about. I tried a few more questions with the same result. Finally I asked him if he had a Bible at home and if so to read the Gospel of John. Almost seeming miraculous, the guy said that he did have a Bible and would read John at home that night. As I walked away I saw them both reading the tracts, so I now leave it in God's hands. As it says in Isaiah 50:11:

so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth;
it shall not return to me empty,
but it shall accomplish that which I purpose,
and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.

I know that I can trust God's Word in this matter. I know that I just did one of several things: (1) I just sowed a seed that will one day be watered and grow then be harvested, (2) I just helped water a seed someone had already sown, or the most terrifying of all (3) I just added to the cup of God's wrath that they will experience on the Day of Judgment. Let me explain what I mean on that third one. On the Day of Judgment, if these two men die in their sin, they will stand with out excuse in front of Almighty God and have to explain why they did not respond to His Grace in repentance and faith.

By man's standards, I was a complete failure, but I am not bound by man's standards, only God's. I am ashamed to say that I was so reluctant to be obedient. As my buddy, Wretched Sinner, said in his latest blog post, I needed and still need to "get out of my own way" when sharing the Gospel. There are lessons that I am going to take from this, one is not to ignore my conscience and be disobedient. I thank my God that this sin, along with all the rest, has already been forgiven. Another thing that I learned was how I am going to need to get direction and training to be more effective.

I have to say that my compassion for the lost has definitely increased since this encounter. I encourage you if you do not share your faith with strangers please consider it. I started out by dropping tracts on the ground in busy places, putting them in ATMs and handing them to cashiers. I know how terrifying it can be to go up to a stranger and talk about these things, but consider where they might be headed. Please consider these lyrics from Keith Green's song Asleep in the Light:

Do you see, do you see
All the people sinking down
Don't you care, don't you care
Are you gonna let them drown

God's calling and you're the one
But like Jonah you run
He's told you to speak
But you keep holding it in,
Oh can't you see it's such a sin?

The world is sleeping in the dark
That the church just can't fight
Cause it's asleep in the light
How can you be so dead
When you've been so well fed
Jesus rose from the grave
And you, you can't even get out of bed.

I ask for your prayers for these two gentlemen. Please pray for their salvation. I also humbly ask that you pray that God continue to grow my compassion for the lost and that my fear of man become fear for man.

"Peace to all of you who are in Christ." (1 Peter 5:14 ESV)

--The Wretch